reveriance | texts from deck 3

1 ) I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life

2 ) I dont know, the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him

3 ) False alarm. Still invincible.

4 ) I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your ironic use of the word yolo

5 ) It's not my fault. Someone keeps pouring me tequila shots. I don't know who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.

6 ) [ Text him some space booze-induced random nonsense ]

Edited (I KEEP FINDING MORE) 2018-06-16 17:37 (UTC)

1) Do you usually send "hey, sexy" as a mass text?

2) I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my bunk. I must undo what I have done.

3) There is too much space vodka and too much dick.

4) I can't work your space dryer, so I'm wearing your blanket back to my bunk. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!

5) text her!

1. I tried to do the Lion King thing with Lisa up in the observatory. Now I'm just kinda sitting here with bandaids, a ton of scratches, and wondering why the hell in the world I didn't just take Simba-chan and do it with him instead.

2. You dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

3. My 6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever...

4. HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW WHY A BURRITO IS FLOATING AROUND OUT THERE

5. [or make something up]

i. Learn some fucking English or fuck off. "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".

ii. Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina

iii. I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

iv. She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".

v. Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

only when it's accurate
should i have personalized it

1) i think we sleep fucked last night...

2) I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion

3) Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need

4) did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?

5) Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster

6) Text him

How does one accidentally abduct a cat?

... Thanks for sharing.

1. You kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothin' happened...

2. Just gave my liver a 'good luck and I'm sorry' speech.

3. Friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and I'm not leaving you behind. Ohana means family.

4. Why is your signature on my underwear?

5. Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.

Maybe. Possibly. But in my defense, we have been.

who are they? i'm not going lower than an 8

I mean I got back up, so, I think I did pretty good.

One nine, one eight and a seven point five we agreed could be a nine if the lights were out and there was music on.

one ) Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?

two ) You went over there?

three ) Thanks for the hospitality last night.

1. New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways. 2. FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot Your boyfriend has good rhythm though. 3. obviously you're part succubus. 4. Dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me

Edited 2018-06-16 18:17 (UTC)

1. It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
2. Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
3. I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
4. Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
5. Text him!

Edited 2018-06-16 18:20 (UTC)