[it's a self-inflicted penance, in a way, when he leans back enough to make eye contact with apollo. it'd be so much simpler if he stayed where he was, with the two of them wrapped up in one another, rather than make the attempt. but given just what he needs to say in response, he isn't prepared to hide. he did enough of that when he chose to leave in the first place. when he continued to stay away for all those months.]
I left. And I wasn't here when you arrived.
[which, given the almost non-existent pause between the two statements, could be seen as a single issue. but it's only the latter that relates to being on this space station. the former is the one he actually regrets. that he's trying to apologise for. he needed to leave the carrier. the team. there was no other option for him. so even now, despite knowing all the damage he did as a result, he wouldn't even consider hijacking the time police's ride to go back and stop himself.
changing things though...
it's only then that his gaze finally flicks away. that he has to grit his teeth as he forces out the last few words.]
Should've talked to you.
[because then, maybe bendix wouldn't have been able to sink his claws back in to him. maybe he wouldn't have abandoned apollo. maybe jenny would have been able to have a real childhood. maybe, maybe, maybe. the only definite is that, if he'd talked to apollo, he knows they would have found a better solution to it all than midnighter chose.]
no subject
I left. And I wasn't here when you arrived.
[which, given the almost non-existent pause between the two statements, could be seen as a single issue. but it's only the latter that relates to being on this space station. the former is the one he actually regrets. that he's trying to apologise for. he needed to leave the carrier. the team. there was no other option for him. so even now, despite knowing all the damage he did as a result, he wouldn't even consider hijacking the time police's ride to go back and stop himself.
changing things though...
it's only then that his gaze finally flicks away. that he has to grit his teeth as he forces out the last few words.]
Should've talked to you.
[because then, maybe bendix wouldn't have been able to sink his claws back in to him. maybe he wouldn't have abandoned apollo. maybe jenny would have been able to have a real childhood. maybe, maybe, maybe. the only definite is that, if he'd talked to apollo, he knows they would have found a better solution to it all than midnighter chose.]