[ he isn't going to explain himself to her; there's no reason he should have to and no reason to even think she would want to hear it. that of course he didn't want to let any of them change things for him, because he learned a long time ago that something like that would always disappear under his feet just as soon as he'd found his footing. that one day a family would treat him kindly, and the next day he'd be told to pack his things without warning. that of course he'd rather be alone than be tossed aside again. the fact is, he's not sure meeting Ren even three years earlier would have been enough to save Goro Akechi.

without explaining himself, though, he isn't entirely sure what to say to her. he scowls, apparently done with those fake smiles for the moment. ]

What I said to Joker at that time — that was the sentimental nonsense of a dead man. [ even before he brought that door down, he felt certain his time was up; there was no way Shido would let him live. he wasn't supposed to have to live with those words, so everyone should really stop bringing it up, please. ]

You're right, though. I have no interest in being understood by the likes of you and your friends, and I can't imagine that it would change things between us anyway.

[ if he couldn't let them reach him before, how could he possibly do so now, when there's too much resentment there for him to trust their intentions. everyone he's ever known has turned on a dime and left him: his mother, the families that fostered him, the children he grew up around, those fans of the detective he pretended to be. none of them had any cause to hate him before they changed their minds, so how could he expect anything from the Thieves? ]

So where does that leave us?